Infamous Last Words: Saint Robert Bellarmine (1542–1621)

Infamous Last Words:

Saint Robert Bellarmine, S.J. (1542–1621) was an Italian Jesuit and a Cardinal of the Church. He actively participated in attacking Galileo. He is most famous, however, for his last words. When asked, “Is it safest to trust in Jesus or the Virgin Mary?”

His last words: “Trust in Jesus. As for Mary, just don’t leave me alone with her.”

This is the first expression, in Italian, of the concept “Bros before hoes.”

Infamous Last Words: Saint Robert Bellarmine (1542–1621)

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Infamous Last Words: John Belushi (1949–1982)

Infamous Last Words:

John Adam Belushi (1949–1982) was an American comedian, actor, and musician. Noted for his intense and energetic performances, he starred in Animal House and The Blues Brothers.

His last words: “Just don’t leave me alone with her.”

Infamous Last Words: John Adam Belushi (1949–1982)
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Infamous Last Words: The Venerable Bede (673–735)

Infamous Last Words:

Bede (673–735) also called the Venerable Bede, was a Historian and Doctor of the Church. His his great work was The Ecclesiastical History of the English People.

His last words: “Hold my head, that I may have the pleasure to sit, looking towards my little oratory where I used to prey; that while I am sitting I may call upon my heavenly Father, and on the pavement of his little place sing, Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to … Eccch….

Thus he prayed on the floor, and when he had named the Holy Ghost, he breathed out his soul.

Infamous Last Words: The Venerable Bede (673–735)
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Infamous Last Words: Thomas Lovell Beddoes (1803–1849)

Infamous Last Words:

Thomas Lovell Beddoes (1803–1849) was an English poet, dramatist and physician. He was obsessed with the idea of death. Unfortunately he was a fairly bad poet—despite his interest in suicide and morbidity and mortality. Weekly reports of his dispepsia were common. Eventually he succeeded (like the late Sylvia Plath) in committing suicide—often a good career move for poets. He swallowed poison and the doctor called to assist him, Dr. Eklin, failed to prevent his death.

His last words: “I wish my corpse to be burned in a funeral pyre by the sea” and “Please buy for Dr. Eklin one of those new devices—I think it’s called Reade’s Best Stomach Pump.”

Infamous Last Words: Thomas Lovell Beddoes (1803–1849)

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Infamous Last Words: Johann Bernhard Basedow (1723–1790)

Infamous Last Words:

Johann Bernhard Basedow (1723–1790) was the first educator to recognize the importance of exercise and physical education. He was the son of a hairdresser and was educated at the Johanneum, where he came under the influence of the rationalist H. S. Reimarus (1694-1768), author of the famous Wolfenbiitteler Fragmente (1744). Basedow published his ideas for his students so they might spread them over all Germany, and he engaged in this new project with all his accustomed ardor.

His last words: “I wish my corpse to be dissected for the benefit of Science.”

Some minutes later he called to his student, Emily Holstein, and laid his head on her breast, and said “but not so fast.”

Infamous Last Words: Johann Bernhard Basedow (1723–1790)

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Infamous Last Words: Dr. Thomas John Barnardo (1845–1905)

Infamous Last Words:

Dr. John Thomas Barnardo (1845–1905) was a philanthropist and founder and director of homes for poor children, born in Dublin. He believed in helping the most vulnerable children and that no child should be turned away.

 His last words: “Syrie, you’re so heavy. Why don’t you rest on my face.”

Some minutes later she laid her breasts on his face, he gasped for air (several times) and died.

Infamous Last Words: Dr. Thomas John Barnardo (1845–1905)
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Infamous Last Words: Thomas Washington Barber (1822 - 1855)

Infamous Last Words:

Thomas Washington Barber (1822 - 1855) was an American abolitionist who was killed in Douglas County in 1855 during the fight over slavery in Kansas. As he was riding home from an anti-slavery meeting in Lawrence, Kansas, both he and his horse were shot. He fell to the ground.

Bancoft’s last words: “Oh. … So they hit me.”

He was preceded in death by his horse.

Infamous Last Words: Thomas Washington Barber (1822 - 1855)
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Infamous Last Words: George Bancroft (1800-1891)

Infamous Last Words:

George Bancroft (1800-1891) was an American historian and statesman. He helped to establish the US Navel Academy.  In his last years he became increasingly “dotty” and in one case claimed that the US needed a Naval Reserve for the purpose of guaranteeing a sufficient supply of navals. 

His death occurred at a Washington dinner party. Bancroft turned to the guest seated next to him and said, “I cannot recall your first name.”

The guest responded, “My name is George, just like yours.”

A bit confused, Bancroft continues, “So, what is your last name?”

 

The guest responded, “Hoar.”

Bancoft’s last words: “Oh. … So you were named for your mother?”

Infamous Last Words: George Bancroft (1800-1891)

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Infamous Last Words: Martin Louis Amis (1949-2000?)

Infamous Last Words:

Martin Amis (1949-2000? [not actual physical death, but the death of the soul]) is an English novelist. best-known for the novels Money (1984) and London Fields (1989). Some people believe that he is still alive, but others insist that his body and soul have disappeared and been replaced by a misshapen and wizened demon who resembles a hairless Capuchin monkey and is constantly obsessed with sex—which helps to explain why the substitution has gone practically unnoticed for so many years.

His last words: “The point about Karen and her being nine-feet-six inches was that I was then about five-foot-two (and had only another four inches to go). Everyone kept saying to me, 'You'll suddenly shoot up', and, after a while I kept saying to everyone, 'What's all this about me suddenly shooting up! She’s 9’6”—how can I not shoot up?’”

Some minutes later he laid his face on her breasts, gasped for air (several times) and died.

Infamous Last Words: Martin Louis Amis (1949-2000?)

Infamous Last Words: Lt. Col. Norman Baesell (d. 1944)

Infamous Last Words:

Lt. Col. Norman Baesell (d. 1944) was an American flyer who was riding in an aircraft over the English Channel with famed bandleader Glenn Miller. Miller was on his way to a Christmas performance in Liberated Paris. The ride turned out to be fairly rough, with cold, ice and fog.  Heard over the radio were Glenn Miller’s last words, “Where the hell are the parachutes!”

The Colonel’s last words: “What’s wrong Miller? You want to live forever?”

Infamous Last Words: Lt. Col. Norman Baesell (d. 1944)

Infamous Last Words: Maximillian “Max” Baer (1909–1959)

Infamous Last Words:

Maximillian “Max” Baer (1909–1959) was an American boxer from Nebraska and one-time Heavyweight Champion of the World. He was also the father of of actor Max Baer, Jr. (best known as Jethro Bodine on The Beverly Hillbillies). He died in a hotel room, after calling the Front Desk and asking for a doctor. The concierge told him, “I will send up the hotel doctor.”

His last words: “I believe I need a people doctor, not a hotel doctor.”

Infamous Last Words: Maximillian “Max” Baer (1909–1959)
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Infamous Last Words: Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

Infamous Last Words:

Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626) was an English lawyer, statesman, essayist, historian, intellectual reformer, philosopher and scientist. Sir Francis (later Lord Verulam and the Viscount St. Albans) was a firm believer in the scientific method, and in 1626 was involved in experiments using snow and cold as a way of preserving food. In his last experiment, he thrust a chicken into a snowbank to see if the cold would preserve the meat. He contracted pneumonia shortly after and died.

His last words: “I believe I have proven that frozen chicken lasts longer than bacon.”

Infamous Last Words: Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

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Infamous Last Words: Eduardo Hidalgo (1838-1879)

Infamous Last Words:

Colonel Eduardo Abaroa Hidalgo (1838-1879) was a Bolivian military officer: He was a hero of the War of the Pacific and died defending a bridge over the river Topater.

His last words: “¿Rendirme yo? ¡Que se rinda su abuela, carajo!” which in English meant: “Surrender? Your grandmother surrendered, you bastard!”

Infamous Last Words: Eduardo Hidalgo (1838-1879)


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Infamous Last Words: Jonathan B. Aurthur (1948-2004)

Infamous Last Words:

Jonathan B. Aurthur (1948-2004) was the father of Charley Aurthur who committed suicide in 1996 by leaping onto a highway. Jonathan became obsessed with his son’s death and wrote a book: The Angel and the Dragon: A Father's Search for Answers to His Son's Mental Illness and Suicide. Over the next few years Jonathan became increasingly despondent over his son’s suicide. He also became obsessed with large bodies of water. Not to be outdone by his son, in 2004 Jonathan jumped to his death from a high and pronounced man-made reservoir in Angeles National Forest.

His suicide note read: “Best death by a dam site.”

Infamous Last Words: Jonathan B. Aurthur (1948-2004)

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Infamous Last Words: John James Audubon (1785-1851)

Infamous Last Words:

John James Audubon (1785-1851) was famous for his paintings of birds and earned the nickname: "The American Woodsman." At the end of his life he became rather eccentric. Devoted to birdwatching, his sense of his calling persisted right up to the end of his life, when he uttered what were apparently his last words: 

"Yes, yes, Billy! You go down that side of Long Pond and I'll go this side and we'll get those snipes!"

Infamous Last Words: John James Audubon (1785-1851)

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